"You're Scary When You're Mad"

Men's Anger, Women's Fear, And Love Without Harm

In a recent "ask me anything" question box, I received the following question:

"How to make a man understand that his angry conduct in conflict comes off scary?"

This question is important and complex, so today I'm diving in. This question simply cannot be answered without a context and nuance, so buckle up for a deep dive.

I'll explore:

• why men sometimes don't spot their own aggression,
• the difference between safe and scary anger,
• how to understand why your behavior scares your partner/how to convey to your partner why his behavior scares you,
• the role of sensitivity and how to work together if you're sensitive to over-perceiving aggression.

Let's get down to it.