Stop Repeating Yourself To Make Them Hear You

Explaining Your Perspective Again Won't Bring The Validation You Crave

As a couples therapist specialized in high conflict relationships, there is one pattern that I see more than any other.

That pattern? Repetitive attempts to feel heard or validated that paradoxically reduce the likelihood of receiving the validation you desire.

I see this pattern in most if not all high conflict relationships. And while one person is sometimes the obvious "repeater," both partners do play a role in the pattern. Because most people don't repeat themselves for fun...they do it because they are not getting cues that their partner is picking up what they're putting down.

This theme is so pervasive, so we're going to dig in. I'll walk through the four main problems that arise with repeating yourself and offer tangible fixes for each one!

Let's get straight to it.