Boundaries You Can Set In Your Relationship
That Don't Involve Walking Away or Breaking Up
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Let's review real quick: boundaries refer to what YOU will and won't do in a given situation. You can't set boundaries about how other people will behave because you are quite literally not in control of other people (and trying to control them is at best unhealthy and at worst unsafe).
When we talk about boundaries in romantic relationships, very often the focus goes straight to the most serious "severe" boundaries available which involve disengagement, either from a conversation/moment or the relationship itself.
And of course, those boundaries are absolutely available to you. You can end a discussion in which you don't feel respected by saying, "I'm not okay with how you're speaking to me. I'm done with this topic for today." You can ask for space to cool off when you're emotionally heated, saying "I need a short break. I'll be back in 10 minutes." You can end the relationship.
However, what I often hear from folks is that you struggle to identify possible boundaries when you don't want to end the dialogue or relationship. Like, are those really the only options? Do you have to go nuclear?
Nope! You have WAY more options when it comes to boundaries! Now let's be clear, if you want to instantly end a situation or dynamic that you are not okay with, removing yourself is the most effective option. And when someone repeatedly does hurtful behavior for which you don't want to be present, you may ultimately need to stop engaging with them. You can't make another person change their behavior, so if you truly can't cope with how they're acting, becoming unavailable is your path to fully block exposure to behavior that's hurting you.
But life isn't always so heavy. There are so many situations in relationships where you're more than willing to stay in the game, but need some subtle tweaks to your own energy and intent and behavior.
Today, I'm breaking down the boundaries you can set in a relationship that do not involve ending a conversation or breaking up.
This one is specific, practical, and actionable...so let's get right to it!