7 Annoying Things In My Marriage
That Will Probably Never Change
Welcome to Love Notes For Real Life! This is my space away from the noise of social media to dive deep into all the tricky, nuanced relationship topics you're struggling and puzzling over. Yes, it's a paid newsletter, but I promise it's worth it (plus, there's a free trial if you're on the fence)! You get weekly+ explorations, advice, and insight from me—a psychologist, high conflict couples therapist, and author. I hope you join the party!
I love my happy, healthy marriage. I deeply value my caring, present partner. We are in one of the most delightful eras of our 12 years together.
Marina Rosenthal
And (of course) we do not have a perfect relationship. We annoy each other! We live with gripes that we don't constantly and actively work on but that still create day-to-day friction.
All this is so so normal, yet I fear you might have been told it isn't. I find that the predominate message on social media and beyond is "fix every last issue in your relationship. If something is less than perfect, it needs to be addressed."
But realistically, that's just not how human life and relationships work! It is perfectly reasonable and downright inevitable to just...live with...various complaints and annoyances.
Now of course, the nuance resides in knowing what you won't live with. Just because I accept certain annoyances in my relationship does not mean I accept all annoyances. We have put major work and effort into changing some aspects of our dynamic. But I also wholeheartedly embrace and genuinely do not stress about certain chronic irritations I suspect we will carry forever.
So, today, I'm sharing six of these (from my perspective and from my husband's), in hopes of helping you breathe a sigh of relief when you face your own version of "annoying, not gonna change, and definitely not a deal breaker."
Let's get into it!