You Might Want to Take Your Hurt Feelings Less Seriously
It’s Okay to Hold Painful Emotions Lightly
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Here's an idea that might raise your hackles. What if you took your hurt feelings just a wee bit less seriously?
I know, I know. Your feelings are your feelings. They're "valid" by which we mean real and acceptable.
But there's a big difference between allowing hurt emotion to rise and fall—acknowledging it—and worshipping it. Unfortunately, I fear some of the mental health messaging out there gets this twisted. Just because you're having an emotion doesn't mean anything terrible has happened or that anything specific needs to happen next to prevent you from feeling that emotion in future.
That's why today we're talking about the deeply underrated relationship skill of learning to hold your hurt feelings with less of a death grip. This capacity is vital, but it can be confusing, because of course sometimes your hurt feelings are a relevant signal that something in your environment needs to be adjusted...but sometimes, they're just feelings and all they need is oxygen and time to burn out.
So! Today we're going to walk through:
- why many people find this idea tricky or even triggering,
- the benefits of learning to hold your emotions with a bit more lightness and flexibility,
- and practical ways to take your own hurt feelings a bit less seriously.
Let's get right to it my friend.