Your Partner Won't Change...But You Don't Want To Leave
Options For When You're Out Of Options
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What should you do when your partner will not make the changes that you can very clearly see they need to make—to be healthy for themselves or the relationship?
I get variations of this question a lot. Just in the past week I've received the following:
"My husband’s cup is completely empty. He’s stopped exercising, doesn’t see friends, uses marijuana to sleep, and feels exhausted."
"My partner has told me again and again that they'll stop smoking, but they never actually follow through."
"It's clear my partner needs therapy. Their mental health is so poor. But they just won't go."
And then comes kicker:
"But I don't want to leave."
What options do you have when your partner will not take action to take care of themselves or your relationship? How can you get through to someone who seems determined to let their life suck?
The typical answer is something like "You can't change them. Take them at their word and decide if you can accept what is. Otherwise, leave."
That answer isn't wrong, but it's not that helpful. If you don't want to leave (at least not yet), what does staying actually look like? How can you help them tiptoe toward change, keep your sanity, and live your life to the fullest right now?
Today, I'm getting specific about exactly what you can do when your partner is stuck, and you are determined not to let them or the relationship burn.
Let's dive right in.