Your Partner Asks You For Change That You Can't Or Don't Want To Make
Staying Relational When The Answer Is No
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Here's a question for you...is it acceptable to say "no" to your partner when they ask you for behavior change? If they tell you, "That thing you do? It's annoying/frustrating/hurting me. Please stop." Can you, as a decent, caring partner, say no?
Recently, a post of mine on Instagram went into just this topic and it went a little haywire. Because apparently, some folks do not believe that a caring partner can respond "no" when asked to change their behavior. Like, ever?
Since the topic clearly hit a nerve, I couldn't wait to get into it over here where there's room for more context and depth.
So, in today's Love Note we're talking:
- situations when you might want to say no even though your partner would really prefer you say yes,
- when it's okay to tell your partner no in response to a behavior change request,
- how to assess if you're being an inflexible jerk or just honoring your own capacities and needs,
- and ways to stay relational even when you're saying no.
This one is both sticky and juicy, so let's dive in.