Normal Thoughts You'll Probably Have About Your Partner Sometimes

Because Thoughts Aren't Facts

Every so often, I choose chaos on the internet by posting something like the following:

"It is normal to think messed up stuff about your partner sometimes."

In response I tend to get variations of:

• "thank god it's not just me,"
• "no, that's just you boo, we actually like our partners,"
• or "anyone who thinks that stuff is a terrible person."

On this topic, I feel so solid standing my ground because as a psychologist, I know kinda a lot about thoughts, and I'll tell you this. People have thoughts they don't totally believe or want to be having every damn day. This is just part of having a human brain.

You might be about to jump in and say, "oh yeah, I know, you're talking about intrusive thoughts!" Yes, intrusive thoughts are a thing! Some people experience repetitive unwanted thoughts about disturbing or frightening content. And relationship thoughts can become intrusive, for example if you find yourself coming back again and again to the question, "do I even love my partner" when you know you genuinely do.

But not all random wacky thoughts are necessarily intrusive. We all have SO MANY thoughts every day. Some of them operate at the subconscious level, and we never acknowledge them. Others pop up in a split second and then fade.

Of course, sometimes thoughts are reflective of sustained beliefs, values, or facts. I am never saying "ignore everything you think about your partner, it's probably all meaningless." I am saying, "not every thought is a fact, and they don't all require action."

So today, at the risk of getting yelled at some more, I'm exploring the types of thoughts many if not most people might have about their partner here and there. If you've ever wondered, "wait, is it weird that I had that thought?" this one's for you.