How To Receive Your Partner's Feelings Without Defensiveness or Disappearance

Connect With Them... And Hang Onto Yourself

Do you have a partner who feels things deeeeeply? They aren't hurt, they're devastated. They don't get annoyed, they get pissed off. They don't feel bummed out, they feel destroyed.

First off, let's take a moment to consider ways in which your partner's full-saturation emotional experience may benefit you. You chose them! Very often, big feelers end up with more even keeled folks (cough cough this is my marriage), and it's not random or problematic. It's likely you were drawn to your partner's emotional freedom and expressiveness because those qualities bring something meaningful to your life.

But also...being with a big feeler can be intense! It might feel like their emotions come out of nowhere or go from 0 to 100 in five seconds flat. It might sometimes seem like they're "coming at you" with their feelings, but they say they're just expressing themselves.

I want to be clear, I am not talking here about verbal aggression or intimidation of any kind. I'm talking about emotional intensity that doesn't cross lines of basic respect but is still kinda...a lot.

If you have a partner who feels all the feelings, and you love them for who they are but also sometimes get extremely overwhelmed by their feelings and low key feel like their feelings are an attack but can't exactly pinpoint why...

This one's for you!

I'll walk you through...

• why their strong emotional responses feel so overwhelming to you,
• how to ground in yourself and stay present and connected,
• where to start if you have no clue what to say in response to their feelings,
• and why your feelings matter too, even if you're not the "big feeler" in your relationship.

Let's do it.