How To Cope When Your Partner Sucks At Problem Solving

In many relationships, one partner takes a more active approach to problems. Some people might call this "over-functioning" which can be a thing. There are valid personality and processing style differences (as opposed to unhealthy adaptations) that explain why some people approach problems with vigorous intensity and others don't. And mental health plays a role as well—anxiety can encourage overactive problem solving, while depression can suppress problem solving.

When you are a hardcore problem solver and your partner takes a more passive approach, it is easy to view their style as yet another problem to be solved. If only they would go after problems with the energy you do!

Alas, trying to problem solve your partner's problem solving rarely works and typically creates an unhelpful dynamic within the relationship.

I'm aware of this one personally, because I am a "solve all the problems" gal and my husband is a "observe the problem and gather data and solve it if we actually need to" dude.

Today I'm exploring how you can approach yourself and your partner when this difference rears its head in your relationship.

We'll walk through:

• How to assess if they actually suck at solving problems (or if perhaps, you might be a wee bit hypervigilant),
• how to detach from problems that are not yours to solve,
• and what to do if your partner truly cannot solve a problem to save their life.

Let's dive in!