Supporting A Burned Out Partner

When Your Partner Fears They'll Never Feel Desire Again

It's time for an installment of Dear Dr. Marina! Let's get right into today's question!

This reader wrote:

I’m in a committed long-term relationship, and my partner appears to be experiencing significant burnout. Over the last few months, intimacy and desire have decreased, though emotional connection and expressions of love remain consistent. Occasionally, my partner worries out loud that desire may not return and doesn’t want to ‘waste my time,’ which creates uncertainty for me and has left me feeling hyper vigilant within the relationship. I’ve stepped into a strong support role and want to be helpful without over-functioning or shifting into a caregiver dynamic. How should the non-burned-out partner interpret and respond to intimacy loss and future-oriented fears during burnout while protecting the relationship?

This question is kindly and thoughtfully posed and shows so much love and self-awareness. In here, I see two main tangible threads for us to break down:

1. How can you provide support to a burned out partner without over-extending and burning yourself out too?
2. What to think about their comments that their desire for intimacy might not return?

While this situation is specific, many of us will deal with burnout or a burned out partner at some point if you haven't already. In today's essay I'll review:

• What even is burnout?
• How to support a burned out partner
• How to manage (and view) changed desire during this period

You'll want to read this one, because burnout is unfortunately all too common. Let's get into it.