Regrettably, Reflective Listening Works

It's Cringe, but Effective

If you watch a TV show and there’s a scene where a couple goes to therapy, you’ll probably see one of two different techniques represented: “I” statements or reflective listening. Often the point of the scene is how cringe the technique is—or, alternately, how woefully inadequate it is for the couple’s pain. I’ll tackle “I” statements another day, but buckle up, because we’re about to dive deep into reflective listening.

If just the term reflective listening cues an eye roll from you, I get it. Reflective listening CAN be awkward, and it also can be the wrong remedy for a particular situation or couple. But it also absolutely slaps as a communication tool, cringe and all.

In today’s post, we’ll explore

• how exactly to practice reflective listening;
• why reflective listening is worth practicing, even though it feels cringe;
• an example of a fictional couple using reflective listening during a tense moment; and
• varsity-level tips for better reflective listening.

Keep reading for all the juicy details.