Positive Communication Can Rebuild Your Relationship

Try Out This Criminally Under-Utilized Technique

When your relationship is hurting, it’s only natural to talk about what’s not working for you.

“You're just not a romantic person."

“I hate how you make jokes whenever we’re having a tender moment, can’t you just be present with me?”

“Do you have to always give me advice? It feels like you’re trying to get me to shut up.”

You likely have an acute awareness of all the stuff your partner does that irritates or hurts you, so you tell them about it!

These sorts of complaints are inevitable in a long relationship. No one is cheery and positive all the time.

But if what you actually want is for your partner to show romance, take you seriously, listen without advising...complaining may backfire. Negative feedback is difficult for almost everyone to receive. Some people are more skilled at regulating distress when they hear something “bad” about themself or their behavior. But pretty much everyone will have some sort of emotional response to hearing “the way you did XYZ? Did not like it one bit.”

I can hear you saying, “it's my partner’s responsibility to manage their own emotions. It’s not my problem if they can’t cope with feedback.”

This stance sounds good on paper, but is not remotely relational. While you certainly have the right to say “I will express myself however I so choose, thank you very much,” I would love to suggest an alternative to whip out, at least some of the time.

And that alternative is positive communication! In today's post, I’m digging into:

• what positive communication entails
• when to use it
• how I use positive communication in my relationship

Keep reading to bring this super skill into your relationship!