My Husband Offered to Let Me Punch Him in the Face During a Fight

Photo by Jennifer Lim-Tamkican / Unsplash

It Changed Our Whole Conflict

My husband and I had a fight recently, and I was epically pissed. He had planned to do a few specific tasks leading up to a weekend trip, and he dropped the ball rather spectacularly. We have worked hard to balance the mental load and division of labor in our relationship—this blunder took me back to a time when things were not so equitable. I was furious.

He apologized quickly, and his words felt genuine, but it was not enough. I was so mad. I delivered a speech about how mad I was, then he apologized some more. Somehow his repair actually made me even madder.

After about 20 minutes of this merry-go-round, he said something that shook me out of my rage loop:

“You are so mad, I bet you want to punch me in the face right now. I’ll let you. Do it.”

Note: Neither of us have a personal history of physical aggression in an intimate relationship. If we did, this comment would be really insensitive. For other reasons, you might feel uncomfortable with even referencing aggression in the context of a safe relationship, which is a limit that should be respected without question.

Keep reading to find out exactly what happened next.

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