Recovering from the Betrayal of Lies of Omission

Understanding What Happened, Why, and How To Move On

It's time for an installment of Dear Dr. Marina! Let's get right into today's question!

This reader wrote:

We are not a high conflict couple. But there has been betrayal (lying by omission) by my partner. Our relationship otherwise has been extremely fulfilling, loving, open, honest, which is even more disorienting because why would he lie? It's been 6 months already and he did take therapy, but actual repair hasn't happened. For me, repair is him telling me WHY he lied, identifying the underlying reason, and showing me steps of changing that pattern. I am doing my own healing around self-trust in my somatic therapy. I feel stuck and want to understand the balance between waiting for repair while still being in the relationship which has everything but not the medicine to my wound.

Lies of omission are a really interesting, nuanced topic, so I'm excited to explore this question today.

I'll get into:

• what really is a "lie of omission"?
• why people lie by omission,
• how to ask clearly for repair in this situation,
• and what to do if your partner keeps saying "IDK why I lied."

Let's go!