Hurt Feelings Are Not An Emergency

Why False Urgency Blocks Real Repair

Your partner says or does something that wounds you. You're coping with those feelings and you need repair. In a healthy relationship, you will absolutely receive that repair in a timely fashion, without significant resistance from your partner.

And...having hurt feelings is not an emergency situation in a long-term relationships. Nothing terrible will happen if your hurt feelings are not addressed in the exact way you hoped in the exact timeline you hoped for.

Unfortunately, many couples operate under the fallacy that hurt feelings are a crisis that cannot wait for the appropriate time or context to be addressed. As a result, you try to get resolution immediately, because waiting at all is too distressing.

Today, I'm exploring:

• why you might want to shift your perspective on how emergent most wounds really are in your relationship,
• how you can decide for yourselves whether immediate repair is a viable option,
• guidance on how to proceed when repair can't happen right now,
• and how to cope when the logical thing is to delay a repair process...but your brain doesn't like that option.

Shall we?