How I Asked For Romance This Valentine's Day

On The Vulnerability (And Reward) Of Communicating What You Want

For the past few years my husband and I have agreed to keep Valentine’s Day very chill. Our kids were super young and neither of us had capacity to take time out of our days to plan much. The basic routine (in both directions) was a card and a small token—flowers, a chocolate bar, a bakery cookie, etc.

But this year, I realized we probably could do a little more. Our day-to-day exhaustion has definitely improved as our kids have gotten older! Importantly, we also have a lot more support than we did as new parents.

I realized I wanted us to do more this year.

And, to be real specific, when I was honest with myself, I realized I personally wanted to receive more. I wanted to be romanced.

Because my mind is an absolute menace, my first instinct was to wait and see if my husband had the exact same thought without me mentioning it. But I know better, so I coached myself to do better.

Here's how I asked for exactly what I wanted (and ultimately got it). While this is a post about Valentine's Day specifically, it's really just about how to communicate new desires in a way that just might actually result in getting what you want!