How I Repair and Reset After Being A Grouch
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The other day, I found myself being persistently grouchy with my husband. I definitely could pinpoint a few things he did that annoyed me, but honestly I don't think my mood was about any of those things. I was just feeling off. In a house with young children who I never want to project my grumpiness onto, sometimes my adult partner receives the overflow of my bad energy. And that's honestly not much better, because kids do pick up on this stuff!
And the problem is, it's all too easy to slip into a cycle. I'm grouchy. He understandably pulls back some warmth in response. I'm even grouchier! I get stuck in this loop and start highlighting specific moments as problematic, which doesn't really do much other than increase the tension.
As the day went on, I got real with myself and acknowledged that whatever was up with my mood, it was on me to manage, not him. I didn't feel good about how I'd been acting.
So, I committed to repair and reset, without necessarily diving into a whole big talk about it. And as I did, I reflected that this is a toolkit we all could use more practice with! Sometimes in a relationship, we accumulate small ruptures. But just as we collect these little tears in the fabric of connection, we can also mend them.
In today's Love Note, I'm sharing how I regroup when I realize I haven't been showing up to my relationship the way I want to—using small, effective moves. Because a few off moments do not have to wreck the whole afternoon.
So, let's dive in!