"What Are We Going To Do?"

"What Are We Going To Do?"

How To Make Tough Decisions With Your Partner

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Okay, here me out. I know "how to make an effective decision with your partner" doesn't sound sexy. But like it or not, an enormous aspect of long-term relationships is the boring stuff.

Where do we live? How much money is too much money to spend on chocolate? Our kid is struggling—what do we do about it? One person doesn't like their job—is quitting an option, or will we drown financially?

Although some of these decisions might seem purely logical, like you could just plug numbers into a spreadsheet and come up with the answer, that's almost never the full truth. The choices we make with our partners are laden with emotion, and there are often multiple reasonable paths that need to be considered. Plus, you're different people with different minds and needs and desires; it's all too easy to think you should just naturally be on the same page, but that's not realistic.

Making life decisions with your partner is an opportunity for connection. When you move through the process with care, you can end up on the other side feeling good about the choice and each other. But when botched, the path to a decision can become a huge rupture in a relationship, a site of future resentment.

Okay...hopefully I've successfully convinced you that learning solid decision-making skills is well worth your time, so let's get into the weeds!

Get your warm beverage and settle in, because this post is detailed! I'll be talking through the exact steps you can walk through for a loving decision making process, the common road blocks you're likely to face, what to do when it's truly an impasse, and more.

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